Thursday, March 27
Drowning the war
The Guardian, March 26, 2003
One of the most popular sites on the web this week is a list of rules for an imaginary drinking game. Here is a selection
Have a drink when:
· Bush is called a crusader
x2 if it's by Saddam
· Saddam is called evil
x2 if it's by Bush
· Iraqi troops surrender to the media
x2 if to a unmanned vehicle or inanimate object
· Iraq uses weapons it claims not to have
· The United States uses weapons it won't allow Iraq to have
· Saddam uses a scud he doesn't have
· France goes pro US invasion
· Germany takes the side of the US in a global war
· Dominique de Villepin reminds you of that annoying rich kid in high school.
· Anybody "warns" anybody
· The word "escalation" is used
· Iraq and the US are shown seated next to each other in the United Nations
· The media compares the war to Blackhawk Down
· You change your opinion on the war
· The Saudis do something the US accuses Iraq of doing
· North Korea does something the United States accused Iraq of doing
· Al-Jazeera is referred to as the "Arab CNN"
Finish your drink if CNN is referred to as the "American al-Jazeera"
· The conflict is compared to the Vietnam war
x2 if the word "quagmire" is used
· Saddam goes missing
Finish your drink if he is confirmed killed
· The Pope is said to "pray for peace"
· Bush mispronounces the word "nuclear"
· If you can't find Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Oman, or the United Arab Emirates on a map
x2 if you even own a map of the region
Finish your drink if you can pronounce them all correctly
· An American reminds the French of the second or first world wars
x2 if a Frenchman reminds the Americans of the Revolutionary war
· Someone reports from "the Arab street"
· Anyone in the Bush administration says "make no mistake"
· Tariq Aziz's glasses get larger
· Somebody says Saddam "tortures his own people"
· God picks a side
Finish your drink if its not yours
· A protest sign attacks Bush directly
x2 if it attacks Saddam directly
· Saddam is compared to Hitler
x2 if Bush is compared to Hitler
· Someone compares the size of Iraq to California or France
· The media refers to itself as "embedded"
· Someone says "shock and awe"
· The words "weapon(s) of mass destruction" are used
x2 if its shortened to "WMD"
· A US official uses the word "liberate"
· Bush says "innocent civilians"
· Bush quotes scripture
x2 if Saddam quotes the Koran
· Saddam shoots a gun into the air
· Bush directly addresses Iraqis
x2 if Saddam directly addresses Americans
· a Saddam body double is seen
· Someone refers to "coalition of the willing"
x2 if it is because a member is actually providing combat troops
· Media cameras on the Baghdad skyline focus on something that looks like an erect penis
· The media refuses to report something because of operational security
x2 if its immediately followed by a commentator telling what will happen next
· The military learns of something for the first time from the media
· Ari Fleischer [Whitehouse spokesman] lies
· Any coalition representative mentions securing oil fields
x2 if immediatly followed by "for the benefit of the Iraqi people"
· This game is mentioned in the news
x2 if the Bush twins are playing it
· This is an edited version printed with permission from www.gulfwardrinkinggame.com.