Genre: Animal Jokes

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, "You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says okay, and drives away.

The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins -- and they're all wearing sunglasses. He pulls the guy over and demands, "I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?"

The guy replies, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach!"
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Saddam May Attack Preemptively!
RushLimbaugh.com, [Comment], March 14, 2003

[I found the most amazing ABC News story headlined: "First Strike? U.S. Military Concerned Saddam Hussein May Launch First Attack." The way some of the sentences in it are written, boggle my mind. The bottom line is that the Iraqis may attack us, but the way ABC reports it, such an action won't start the war. Only when we fire our guns, will the evil of WAR be unleashed upon the world. ]

ABC: "U.S. officials fear that once President Bush signals the U.S. is headed to war, Saddam Hussein will strike preemptively... "

[What's Bush been doing these past 14 months if not signaling we're headed to war? "If the U.S. takes action to stop an Iraqi first strike, especially if they try to seize and protect the oil fields, U.S. officials admit that may end up starting the war itself."

You have to be kidding me! Do we not want to start the war? Even Saddam is getting tired of waiting, apparently!]
[...]
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First Strike? U.S. Military Concerned Saddam Hussein May Launch First Attack
John McWethy, ABC News, March 14

U.S. officials fear that once President Bush signals the U.S. is headed to war, Saddam Hussein will strike pre-emptively, administration sources told ABCNEWS.

This new level of concern about Iraq is caused by an accumulation of intelligence including troubling new details that focus on three areas:

Specific new evidence indicates that Iraqi activity in the Western desert shows the strong likelihood Scud missiles are hidden there. These missiles could easily reach Israel carrying chemical or biological warheads which could draw Israel into any war.

Detailed new intelligence from the southern Iraqi oil fields shows that many of the 700 wells have now been wired with explosives. These explosives appear to be connected to a central command post, so Saddam could easily set the wells ablaze.

Near the border with Kuwait, where 135,000 U.S. troops are now stationed, recent surveillance indicates Iraqi artillery batteries have been moved dangerously close. The artillery is capable of firing shells filled with poison gas.

The United States is now considering moving against all three of these targets before any war begins in an effort to prevent Saddam from acting first, sources told ABCNEWS.

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Dixie Chicks Explain Anti-Bush Comment
Yahoo News, Mar 13, 2003

The Dixie Chicks are stirring up controversy with a recent negative comment about President Bush while overseas promoting their current album, Home.

The trio performed a live show in London on Monday (March 10th) night, and Natalie Maines (news) told the crowd, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas."

That statement prompted all kinds of reactions from the American public, causing the group to further explain their stance on their official website. "We've been overseas for several weeks and have been reading and following the news accounts of our government's position," the group explains. "The anti-American sentiment that has unfolded here is astounding. While we support our troops, there is nothing more frightening than the notion of going to war with Iraq (news - web sites) and the prospect of all the innocent lives that will be lost."

Maines also says, "I feel the President is ignoring the opinions of many in the U.S. and alienating the rest of the world. My comments were made in frustration and one of the privileges of being an American is you are free to voice your own point of view."

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HANS BLIX: Caught Between Iraq and a Hard Place
John Norris, MTV News

Three years ago, Hans Blix was enjoying retirement after a lifetime in diplomacy and law. Then, United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan came calling. Now, as Blix oversees weapons inspections in Iraq, he finds himself a key player in a standoff that seems destined to lead to war.

The 74-year-old Swede, who originally planned to go into teaching, is the head of the U.N. Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission (UNMOVIC), and the man whose opinions about the Iraqi weapons program ultimately carry the most weight. As the world urges Saddam Hussein to disarm, it is Blix and his team that will — through on-site inspections — try to determine if the Iraqi leader is complying. The U.S. and its allies are pushing for justification for military action in Iraq, while key opponents on the U.N. Security Council are calling for further inspections. Blix stands between the two, trying to fairly and impartially determine the true scope of Iraq's weapons program.

MTV News' John Norris sat down with Blix at the U.N. this week for a rare interview, and found an agreeable and surprisingly calm man at the middle of this global storm.

Norris: This recent flap over not mentioning the drone is somewhat indicative of the fact that just about every time you have something to say nowadays, one side or the other takes a word or a phrase or a sentence and they want to use it to bolster their case. Do you feel like you're caught in sort of a squeeze play at times?

Blix: Everybody has tried to get mileage out of us and what we say. But I'm the servant of the Security Council.

I'm not the servant of any individual member, whether it's the United States, or Russia, or anyone. We are in nobody's pocket and we are not supposed to be. [...]
- posted by ARYABHATT @ 4:01 pm