Monday, March 10
Police Jokes: Where are you from?
Theater Guest: A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."The man groaned but didn't budge.
The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.
In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?"
With pain in his voice Sam replied "... the balcony."
Srinath stars as India annihilates Sri Lanka
ABC News Online, March 11, 2003
Veteran paceman Javagal Srinath destroyed the Sri Lanka batting with four for 20 from his opening five overs in their World Cup Super Six match.
India won the match by 183 runs after a stunning performance with the ball left Sri Lanka confused and defenceless.
Srinath removed Marvan Atapattu and Jehan Mubarak in his first over.
Atapattu cut a short ball straight to Mohammad Kaif at cover in the second over and Mubarak also went for a duck as he edged his second delivery behind.
Left-arm paceman Zaheer Khan then trapped Mahela Jayawardene for no score and Srinath dismissed Aravinda de Silva for a duck in similar fashion.
Srinath captured his fourth victim when captain Sanath Jayasuriya hit an easy catch to Kaif.
Kumar Sangakkarra took the attack to the bowlers briefly before he was caught for 30 with the score on 59 then Arnold was another lbw victim for eight. Earlier Sachin Tendulkar fell three runs short of a record fifth World Cup century as India compiled 292 for six.
Tendulkar, who broke his own tournament record of 523 runs set in 1996, was caught behind off de Silva for 97.
In combination with Virender Sehwag (66) he put on 153 for the first wicket from 26.3 overs before Sehwag tried to hit Muttiah Muralitharan for his fourth six and was caught for 66.